Another Failed Potion

May 9, 2024
M-J Kelley's image of a Gretchen Wretch and her children for the story Another Failed Potion.

“Mom made it rain again,” yawned Ruefulness as a droplet of water fell onto his beak.

His other three siblings, Regret, Rumination, and Ruin, paid little attention to his warning. But when the sound of “pitter-pat” of droplets gave way to a deafening downpour, the four buzzards leapt high into the thick branches of the tallest of pine trees. And they waited.

“Where R you?!” Boomed a demanding voice at the base of the tree. They looked at each other and remained silent. It was their mother.

Gretchen Wretched.

Gretchen Wretched was not one for motherhood. But when she found herself with “egg” she decided to raise her four children (three boys and a girl) with utmost efficiency. She started with their names. They all started with the letter R. Only rarely did she speak to them individually. They were called as a group.  “What R you doing?” “R you coming?” and “Where do you think you R going?”

She called them again. No response. She knew they heard her. “The kettle needs to be emptied before making dinner tonight.” They loved food. That would get them down. And with that, the drenched middle-aged buzzard turned on foot and returned to her kitchen.

Being buzzards meant the need to prepare tasty meals from the same old dead things. Gretchen had a knack for creating culinary experiences. This knack grew into an unhealthy obsession with what may be referred to as on the edge of poison—a hark back to dark witchcraft.

A twist of lemon became a tangle of hair. A pinch of explosive powder was added as a spice. A long boil was always necessary. The kitchen became a laboratory, and her kettle a cauldron. Soon, vats of boiled something became intense alchemy projects. Her interest even overwhelmed her.

This left her four children somewhat unattended and, well, bored. The cacophony of “I’m bored!” drove Gretchen to the brink. Then it suddenly occurred to her that they needed a toy! Cracking the first smile she had made in years.

But potion after potion failed, and the rain kept falling.

“Hmm,” she thought, “another failed potion,” as she dried off her various recipes and potion books. Though shaking her head, she was undeterred she would try another recipe. She wiped her wings on the front of her pink-dotted smock and flipped through an older book. And there it was…a recipe for making a dragon.

M-J Kelley's image of a dragon for the Recipe for Making a Dragon.

A Recipe for Making a Dragon

Three variations were offered.

#1 Quick
Ingredients: One dragon egg
Preparation: Drop the egg into molten lava inside a volcano.

#2 Slow
Ingredients: One dragon egg and an egg holder.
Preparation: Put the egg in the holder and wait a long time.
Note: Incubation time may seem interminably long.

#3 Cauldron Dragon
The ingredients list was long.

Gretchen Wretched went back to the tall pine tree and yelled up.

“R you interested in a Scavenger hunt?”

With excitement, the four young buzzards headed out into the vast Knockwood Forest with their mother’s ingredient list in hand and a big adventure to be had.

Stay tuned for part two: Eye of Newt

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